20/20

Hind site is 20/20 vision even if you are blind. I am afraid of this climb that me and my wife and kids are making up this mountain called the mountain of God. Me as the leader have messed up bad with my first mate and the lead crewman. When you are mean and hurtful to someone or people in a certain way all the time they expect the same reaction out of you and duck or flinch when ever you do something. So, I not only as the leader have to stop acting in a certain way towards my wife and kids, I have to let them let out the pain and be healed from the wounds that I have inflicted. Boy I wish I could have seen what a mess my actions towards my family would bring but hind site is 20/20. Another tough thing is is that only the Lord can heal us which is good because I have proven over and over again how I can mess things up when I try to fix us. Lord Jesus please come and forgive us and heal us as a family.

Reality

Sometimes facing where we are at on the mountain we are climbing is just not a whole lot of fun. When we start our journey towards the mountain all we can see is the top and think, wow, I want to be up there at the top of that mountain. Then when we hit the base of the mountain we know that the work has begun. Our view of the top will be distorted because of the rest of the mountain being in the way. Sometimes it will seem like we are almost there and other times it will seem like we can't make it because its still to far to the top. All I know is that the journey to the top will break you and make you so Lord please help us to finish our journey to the top for your names sake. It is the mountain of God that we are climbing. Romans 5:3-5 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

The long road

Sometimes I think that we are going to arrive at the end of all our problems and then pow, I'm knocked down again by something I have done or what somebody else has done or just life itself and it seems like the little progress that has been made is lost and its back to the beginning. Mathew 7:13-14 Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few. Help me Lord Jesus to not look at the length of the road but at who it is that I am traveling with.

Broken.

I'm so sick of me and my flesh! It seems like I will never get victory over this thing called the fallen human will, that is well and alive in me. Unfortunately I'm not the only one who has to deal with my fallen will, my family does as well as friends. It seems that old saying is true, we hurt the ones we love most. I am so tired of hurting my family in word, deed, and action by yelling, angry looks, not being there for them. And I'm so tired of crying out to friends for help and watching them get dirty with my poop. All I can say is I am truly sorry to my family and friends and thank you Lord Jesus for putting your strength in them to deal with me. Dear Lord Jesus, I desire to be broken before you and them and to be fixed by you before their very eyes so that they may see your glory in fixing me. Thank you Lord for these funny pictures. Please help me to strive for an imperishable crown by loving my family like you do. 1Cor 9:25-27 Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and Keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

Weaker then I thought.

Yesturday me and my wife sat down and talked to some very close friends about some very hurtful stuff in between me and my wife. It was not easy to sit there and be exposed before our friends about mine and my wife's weakness. I don't think it's ever easy to ask someone for help. Our friends who sat there and listened to me and my wife spill our guts out about each other have been through hard times in there relationships and are now on the other side of some preaty tough stuff. People who have been through tough stuff seem to be the ones to go to when you are going through tough stuff. The Lord seems to know how ugly our hearts are and what people to send at just the right time to expose our uglyness and weakness and to begin administer healing. I'm preaty sure my wife and I still have a long way to go but I do believe the Lord has brought us over a major hurdle.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOb8ihacSM4

Little digs and stabs.

The Lord showed me that the title of this blog is a stab at my wife. On her blog she named off all of the people that she feels has her back in hard situations. I'm not one of them. Well in my hurt, instead of trusting the Lord to exact vengeance if needed I set up this blog with the title The Lord has my six as a stab towards my wife. Please forgive me Lord Jesus for using you to get at my wife and please forgive me wife for stabbing at you from my hurt heart. There is only one place that I know of that will take care of any ones sin, shame, and hurts. The old rugged cross. So I have changed the name of this blog to The LORD is my strength.

Well here goes another blog.

Some times you just have to write about the things that God is doing in your life, and I guess that is were blogging has become so popular. I think its a good thing to share with other people what God is doing in your life so they to my glorify God. God wants us to share him with others, he's obviously to big to keep to our selves.

Thank you Father for your Son, thank you Jesus for bringing us back to the Father, thank you Holy Spirit for touching my heart and opening my eyes to how awesome God truly is.